Not
to reveal too much about my age, but many years back, when I was in
3rd
or 4th
grde, I attended a one-room school (actually, I went to two different
ones in the course of the many schools I attended growing up –
thanks to my dad's wanderlust and his constant search for a better
job). The teacher at this particular school—I think her name might
have been Mrs. Kildow but I can't remember for certain—used to read
to us frequently. One of her favorites was the following Christmas
poem. It was one of my favorites, too, and has stuck with me all
these years. It came to mind the other day (as stray thoughts often
do to old codgers) so I thought I'd see if I could find the exact
wording on the Internet ... and by golly there it was.
After
all these years I still had myself a chuckle or two reading through
it again. It speaks of a simpler, sweeter time and of values (even
naughty ones) I think everybody could use a dose of in this day and
age.
Thinking
ya'll might get a kick out of it, too, here—from the late 1800s, as
written by Eugene Filed—is:
JEST
'FORE CHRISTMAS
Father
calls me William, sister calls me Will,
Mother calls me Willie but
the fellers call me Bill!
Mighty glad I ain't a girl---ruther be a
boy,
Without them sashes curls an' things that's worn by
Fauntleroy!
Love to chawnk green apples an' go swimmin' in the
lake--
Hate to take the castor-ile they give for belly-ache!
'Most
all the time, the whole year round, there ain't no flies on me,But
jest 'fore Christmas I'm as good as I kin be!
Got
a yeller dog named Sport, sic him on the cat.
First thing she
knows she doesn't know where she is at!
Got a clipper sled, an'
when us kids goes out to slide,
'Long comes the grocery cart, an'
we all hook a ride!
But sometimes when the grocery man is worrited
an' cross,
He reaches at us with his whip, an' larrups up his
hoss,
An' then I laff an' holler, "Oh, ye never teched
me!"But
jest 'fore Christmas I'm as good as I kin be!
Gran'ma
says she hopes that when I git to be a man,
I'll be a missionarer
like her oldest brother, Dan,
As was et up by the cannibals that
live in Ceylon's Isle,
Where every prospeck pleases, an' only man
is vile!
But gran'ma she has never been to see a Wild West
show,
Nor read the life of Daniel Boone, or else I guess she'd
know
That
Buff'lo Bill an' cowboys is good enough for me!Excep'
jest 'fore Christmas, when I'm as good as I kin be!
And then old Sport he hangs around, so
solemn-like an' still,
His eyes they seem a-sayin': "What's
the matter, little Bill?"
The old cat sneaks down off her
perch an' wonders what's become
Of them two enemies of hern that
used to make things hum!
But I am so perlite an' tend so earnestly
to biz,
That mother says to father: "How improved our Willie
is!"
But father, havin' been a boy hisself, suspicions
meWhen, jest 'fore Christmas, I'm as good as I kin be!
For
Christmas, with its lots an' lots of candies, cakes an' toys,
Was
made, they say, for proper kids an' not for naughty boys;
So wash
yer face an' bresh yer hair, an' mind yer p's and q's,
And don't
bust out yer pantaloons, and don't wear out yer shoes;
Say
"Yessum" to the ladies, and "Yessur" to the
men,
An' when they's company, don'a pass yer plate for pie
again;
But, thinkin' of the things yer'd like to see upon that
tree,Jest 'fore Christmas be as good as yer kin be!
Eugene Field (1850-1895)